All these talk about closer ties of Singapore with Russia really makes me want to master the language and head on to Russia to work or just stay for a while. It was a great experience in Moscow and I’m sure as the relationship between Singapore and Russia gets warmer, more tourism opportunities will be opened and other diplomatic conferences will be held, and that is when the language will be important cos interpreters and translators would be needed and Russian is such a rare language to learn. I hope to be able to volunteer myself for such things cos I want to interact with Russians and even to really speak Russian with Russian people instead of to myself. So I guess for now, this is one goal I’ll look forward when I graduate.

This has been a crazy sem and I’m so thankful that it’s finally coming to an end. Though it’s not really the end as my last paper will be on 3rd Dec but now I really can say it’s bye bye to half of my honours year.

It was a tough decision to take the honours year and it had been a tough and rough 13 weeks. But through it all, I realised that hey, everyone’s suffering too but we are all in the same boat and thus can bitch all about it. The bonds forged this sem will be made stronger in the next. I’m really thankful to God for this group of wonderful history pals that have made this sem enjoyable and bearable to me and everyone. I’ll miss the days spent in the honours room, getting totally shot by the silver bullets in ah lau, doing last min Lemon readings, listening to stories/complaints of the Korean trips/module and etc. I can’t say enough to show how much you guys have played a part in my life. But I guess you all get the drift.

So here’s to all the best for all our papers! Jia you!

Please please have some form of initiative. I’m not here to spoon feed you forever and neither will people do in the future! Can’t stand it when you were expected to do the simplest of things and it’s not even done at the last minute. If that’s the case, what’s the difference of you and the normal person sitting beside you.

School is starting to become my 2nd home.

It’s sad when nothing happens..

The other day, Chun passed me a Bible reading system. It’s designed to read 10 chapters of the Bible per day. Though it doesn’t really say how long it will take to finish the Bible per se but the purpose is for one to get a variety of biblical reading via this system. Will start tonight and see how far and consistent i’ll go..

Recently, I don’t really know what I am doing. I seem to be losing myself to a whole list of readings, assignments and deadlines. I mean this school stuff does define me but it’s not me, it doesn’t come from my interest, my desire, it’s just like a ‘by the way’ thing. Furthermore, it’s taking up so much time that I don’t have time to do other stuff and I end up stealing time from my service, from my ‘me’ time, from anywhere that doesn’t require me to put a lot of effort in. It even takes friendship time away.

I’m really afraid that I am losing ‘me’ in this process and a whole new ‘me’ is being developed. I think I’m redefining myself and prob just resistant to change. I wish for the old days and am quite ok with the old me but yet a bit happy though apprehensive for the new me.. Or probably there is just nothing happening at all and it’s all in the mind?

I don’t know.. maybe I’m just losing everything I hold dear.. and I’m afraid..

it’s true that I hide my true self pretty well..

Seems that I am not myself anymore…

no matter what happens, I’ll be your shelter, that I promise..

The other day, I had a friend who said this to me after reading my essay.

“I like your essay. I think it’s a masterpiece in smoking. Totally rocks”

I had a super conundrum when I heard that. Should I be happy or sad?